The first sip of a great cocktail can be an almost magical feeling, whether it be a spicy tajin-rimmed mezcal mule, a Negroni sbagliato with prosecco in it or even a bubbly, refreshing sparkling wine. But that nirvana moment can quickly get ruined at a bar by terrible music, sticky countertops and, worst of all, loud patrons hollering at bartenders.
That’s when a good wine subscription or home bar comes in clutch for any cocktail enthusiast. I’d much rather enjoy a handcrafted cocktail among friends in my apartment than over a grimy bar, waiting to lock eyes with a bartender and hoping I’m next in line for an overpriced drink.
There’s only so much you can do at home unless you’ve mastered the art of mixology or are lucky enough to have a well-stocked home bar. As someone who appreciates the fine art of cocktail making but lacks the tools to make these dreams come true, I’ve been tempted to invest in a cocktail machine, and my research brought me to the Bartesian. If you don’t know what a Bartesian is, it’s a countertop machine that looks like an espresso maker or coffee machine but is actually a pod-based cocktail maker. Think of it as a Keurig but for cocktails.
After finally getting my hands on a Bartesian, I put it through a range of tests to see if it’s worth the splurge.
What to know about the Bartesian
The Bartesian comes with an LCD touchscreen, five 26 -ounce glass liquor reservoirs, a removable power cord, a container for water and a removable drip tray mat. The premixed drink capsules are sold separately, but they all contain premium ingredients and real juices, bitters and extracts from cranberries, limes and oranges, depending on which capsules you purchase.
The retail price is $350 via the Bartesian website and $330 on Amazon. Bartesian also sells a compact duet cocktail machine system for $250 that comes with two liquor reservoir systems rather than the standard five.
Bartesian capsules cost $20 for eight cocktails or $72 for 32 capsules. Most capsules are 45 milliliters, although some are 40 milliliters, depending on the cocktail.
The machine makes cocktails using vodka, tequila, whiskey, gin or rum. Although wine is not an option for the spirit containers, you can still make cocktails like sangria (using rum and its white sangria capsules) in the Bartesian. It also makes customized drinks like old-fashioneds, martinis and Negronis of different strengths, including mocktail, light, regular or strong. The capsules don’t contain alcohol so you can even turn any cocktail into a mocktail.
Bartesian’s latest pod collection includes summer favorites like lemon drops and lychee martinis but its highest-rated packs range from mango margaritas and sidecars to whiskey sours and aviations. You can also select capsules by the base spirit, like a whiskey lover’s collection or tropical margarita variety pack that features tequila.
The Bartesian scans a barcode on each pod to identify which spirit to use. It then mixes and pours your selected cocktail after you personalize the cocktail strength yourself from the four different settings. Each capsule makes one drink, similar to how a Keurig or Nespresso machine operates.
Before starting, you’ll have to fill the spirit containers with your own liquor and the base with water. This machine also self-cleans between cocktails, but you must clean the spirit containers yourself.
How I tested
I ran the Bartesian through a series of tests to produce a range of drinks using vodka, gin, tequila and whiskey. This process started with an espresso martini (vodka), Negroni (gin), margarita (tequila) and an old-fashioned (whiskey). I sampled every cocktail both by itself and with the Bartesian-recommended glassware and fixings (like lime juice, orange peels, etc.) to give each one a fair shot.
I also considered:
- Functionality: To test if the Bartesian was worth the splurge, I examined its versatility with each spirit for each cocktail. Even though the spirit containers only hold whiskey, vodka, rum, gin or tequila, you can still make spritzes or sangria.
- Build: I also considered the dimension, overall bulkiness and parts necessary to set up the Bartesian, especially as someone living in a tiny studio apartment. The Bartesian 55300 is 12.75 by 13.25 by 12.5 inches, which is fairly compact considering what it can do. It is quite heavy (according to Amazon, it’s 15 pounds), but it will likely live in one spot in your kitchen or home bar. I also examined if the spirit containers and tray mat were easy to set up and clean, if the Bartesian settings were clear and how easily the containers fit into the base.
- Durability: I tested the Bartesian’s durability by using it several times back-to-back and looking out for how well it stood up after each use and if it scratched or cracked easily.
- Care: I considered what was necessary to care for the Bartesian, which only entails wiping it with a damp cloth and running the machine-safe spirit containers through the washer. I don’t own a dishwasher so I hand-washed each one.
- Warranty: The Bartesian has a one-year warranty for any original purchase made in Canada or the United States, where any repair is covered. However, you will be responsible for all costs associated with returning the product. The warranty also doesn’t cover glass, filters, wear from normal use or damage to the product resulting from accident, alteration, abuse or misuse.
- Price: Right now, the Bartesian 55300 can be purchased for $330 on Amazon, which is no small fee for an appliance that won’t be used daily, like a blender or coffee machine. However, I factored in how useful this machine would be for both hosting and?saving money at home rather than going out for cocktails.
What I liked about the Bartesian
It’s so easy to assemble and use
I’ll admit, I was initially overwhelmed with the size of the Bartesian package and was worried about how complicated it would be to assemble. After unboxing all of the parts, however, I realized it would only take me a few minutes to put together. All I had to do was rinse and fill the spirit containers, screw them onto the base, plug in the cord and, voilà, my Bartesian was ready to go.
When Bartesian says a cocktail is ready in seconds, all at the push of a button, it’s not kidding. As a certified hater, I was extremely skeptical at the speed of the cocktail-making machine, but the Bartesian literally whips up any cocktail in under 20 seconds. All I had to do was pop in my pod of choice, choose a strength and wait for the Bartesian magic to happen.
Better yet, it was easy to clean
The Bartesian is made with an easy-clean design, meaning it has an automatic cleaning cycle that runs after each cocktail is created. I loved that I didn’t have to tidy up any spills or deal with sticky shakers or glasses (aside from my own messes). I also appreciated the removable tray mat, making any of my spills extremely easy to rinse.
Every cocktail is the perfect size
I was truly amazed that each cocktail was the perfect volume no matter the type of drink it was and without any excess spillage, every single time. As long as your glass sits on a stable surface, you likely won’t experience overflowing drinks. Rest assured it won’t make a measly cocktail either.
You can customize the strength of each drink
I loved that I could customize my drink’s strength and that I could make a mocktail if I wanted. I preferred making each drink on the lighter side, especially since I was testing drinks back-to-back, but the fact you’re in control of your cocktail’s strength is a great feeling.
It’s extremely entertaining to watch in action
The wow factor of the Bartesian never got old. From choosing the strength of each cocktail and seeing the containers guzzling down each spirit to creating each drink, I never tired of watching the Bartesian in action. I can see it being a great party trick if you plan on hosting big bashes or if you want to offer your guests a wide range of cocktails without actually having to make it for them.
Most cocktails looked and tasted like the real deal?
I think there’s a stigma around the Bartesian, and it’s that the capsules will taste artificial. I get it. The drinks are made in plastic pods, after all. But I’m here to dispel that stigma.
For starters, the espresso martini smelled and tasted just like something I would get at a bar. I could literally smell the espresso wafting from the Bartesian. For tequila fans, the margarita was flavorful and strong, which, while not my favorite even on the lighter setting, still tasted like the real thing. And whiskey lovers will no doubt appreciate the old-fashioned, which packed a punch, just like any bartender-crafted one would. Even the Negroni exceeded my expectations.
As long as you keep your drinks light, serve them over ice and with all the right toppings, you can get an incredible handcrafted cocktail experience at home with the Bartesian.
What really sold me is that each capsule is made with real juices and bitters and doesn’t use artificial colors, fructose or corn syrups. This also means the capsules will eventually expire, so try to store them in the refrigerator if you can.
What I didn’t like about the Bartesian
I couldn’t measure how much alcohol I was using?
I wish the spirit containers were labeled with measurements so I could track how much alcohol to buy and how much I was using. While you don’t need to know the exact measurements of each spirit to make each cocktail, I’d like to know how much to buy before trekking to a store and guestimating how much alcohol I’ll need.
This is a small complaint because you do just need one handle of each spirit, but I still would have liked a precise measurement of how much alcohol I needed beforehand.
Bottom line
I?enjoyed almost all the cocktails I made using the Bartesian and think it could be worth the splurge if you’re looking for the benefits of a fully equipped bar without having to spend on tools and spirits.
Granted, there were some hits and misses, but overall, I was quite impressed with the results of the cocktails. If you plan on hosting barbecues or other parties this summer, this handy machine can be an impressive, fun-to-watch time-saver.
If you’re really invested in the process of crafting your own cocktail from scratch, you won’t get that experience from this machine. However, you can make up for that by garnishing your cocktail with a coated rim, fruit rinds or wedges, or even adding in your own splashes of juices or mixers.
