Naomi Osaka says that she is still adjusting to playing tennis following the birth of her daughter last year.
Osaka, a four-time grand slam champion, returned to competitive tennis at the start of this year after a maternity leave.
Currently ranked No. 90 in the world, the Japanese star is preparing to play at the US Open later this month having lost in the qualifiers for the Cincinnati Open on Monday against American Ashlyn Krueger.
In a lengthy Instagram post on Wednesday, Osaka explained how her biggest issue at the moment is not losing matches, but that she doesn’t “feel like I’m in my body.”
She added: “It’s a strange feeling, missing balls I shouldn’t miss, hitting balls softer than I remember I used to. I try to tell myself ‘it’s fine you’re doing great, just get through this one and keep pushing,’ mentally it’s really draining though. Internally I hear myself screaming ‘what the hell is happening?!?!’”
Since returning to tennis, Osaka’s best performances have been reaching the quarterfinals of the Qatar Open in February and the fourth round of the Italian Open in May.
She hasn’t progressed beyond the second round of a grand slam this year, losing against Emma Navarro at Wimbledon and eventual champion Iga ?wi?tek at the French Open.
“The only feeling I could liken how I feel right now to is being postpartum,” said the 26-year-old Osaka. “That scares because I’ve been playing tennis since I was 3, the tennis racquet should feel like an extension of my hand.
“I don’t understand why everything has to feel almost brand new again. This should be as simple as breathing to me but it’s not and I genuinely did not give myself grace for that fact until now.”
She added that she “want[s] to do the best that I can with the time that I have” and “want[s] to teach my daughter that she can achieve so many things with hard work and perseverance.”
Osaka has won the US Open twice in her career, most recently in 2020. The tournament begins on August 26 and concludes on September 8.